Cuanto, Cuando
by shadowphantomness
Summary: AU Future! Fic. After Deoxys is defeated, Ash marries Misty and everything ends up happily ever after until he meets a blast from his past in the form of a grade school teacher named Wataru... Ash x Lance Championshipping
1. Chapter 1

Yay, Microsoft Word works!

The title of this fic is "Cuanto, Cuando" It's made up of two Spanish question words. The first is 'how much', as in price, when you're trying to buy something. The second is 'When'.

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Pairings: Championshipping (Lance x Ash), mentions of others probably, including AAMRN

Wataru is Lance's Japanese name

Chapter 1

The pill bottle in his hands is shaking. He watches the pills inside rattle. They're a pale silvery-white color, and his hands are shaking as he fumbles open the bottle cap and lets two of them roll out. They sit in the middle of his palm, like two little tears dried up and crystallized.

He knows what this will mean, but at the same time, he doesn't care.

The world is safe.

_He_ is safe.

That is all that matters.

He swallows, falls, and doesn't remember anyone catching him.

Seven years later… 

"Wataru-sensei!"

"Yes?" He smiles as he looks down at the girl. She's rather cute, for a brat, like the rest of his class. He's not quite sure why he even chose to become an elementary school teacher, but he likes the school part. He hates the teaching part.

In any case, even the worst brats he only has for a year, so it all works out.

Amy flushes, and pulls at her hair nervously, and then she asks if she can talk to him privately

He raises an eyebrow, since they're the only two people left in the room, but just to humor her, he closes the window blinds and the door.

Amy looks at him with all the seriousness that a six year old can muster, and says clearly, "Wataru-sensei, are you mad at me?"

He blinks. "No, why?"

She colors. "Because I'm the person who put the dead worm in your desk."

Ah, that would explain it…

He'd wondered about that, but he smiles fondly now at her.

She bursts into noisy tears, and between the blubbering, he finds out that two of the rougher boys, Dick and Tom, put her up to it and they wouldn't give her back her Pikachu doll unless she did, and now they still haven't given the doll back and they said they'd kill her if she tattled but she's too scared!

Interesting…

In any case, he gives her a lollipop from the tin on his desk and tells her not to worry, he'll deal with them, and she runs off cheerfully.

After she leaves though, he feels his hands clench into fists, even though it's irrational, because kids are all little brats and of course there are some bad ones, but…

But he keeps feeling like something's missing.

He sighs and goes to his desk where he keeps his pills. His psychiatrist prescribed them so he could deal with his anger, and he swallows two of them, as per usual, with a grimace. They go down smoothly enough, but…

He keeps feeling as though he's missing something.

His cell phone rings a few minutes later, and he picks up, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that it's his father. It's like the man's psychic or something!

"Are you all right?" His father's voice drifts down, and he sighs.

"I lost my temper after school…"

"I know, child. I felt it."

So the psychic bit isn't that far off. Apparently his family is psychic on his father's side, but he didn't inherit the psychic power his ancestors did. He wonders if that's a bad thing or not.

He is glad that he isn't empathic, however. He hates dealing with people, and having to feel their emotions through everything would be absolute hell.

He thinks something horrible must have happened, because he woke up shivering in his father's arms outside a smoking ruin, and his father held him and whispered that there had been a fire and his mother hadn't survived…

He does wish though, that he remembered what his mother looked like, because his dark red hair doesn't come from his father, and neither do his odd gold eyes.

However, those moments are few and far between, and really, his father is a nice man, and he's glad he has at least one parent left alive, even if everything does feel horribly wrong.

His father teleports in almost immediately, and he lets himself cry, though he can't for the life of himself remember what he's crying _for_, and the attack passes.

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" His father sighs, as he finally stops crying, feeling horribly embarrassed. He shouldn't cry, he has no reason to, and if he's crying for lost memories, well, he's weaker than he thought he was. He knows he's a good trainer – _was _a good trainer. He's seen his pokemon, and they're all sleek and healthy and high level and _rare_ pokemon at that, but after he woke up, he couldn't train anymore, because he couldn't _remember_, and so he let his father take care of them.

It would be like cheating otherwise.

Still, he's more than ready to call it a day, and school's over, so he gathers up his papers and into the briefcase they go, and then he lets his father teleport him home, because he's afraid of large crowds for a reason he can't fathom, and cars are too noisy, and really, why should he bother wasting money on public transport if he doesn't have to?

His father just shakes his head and tells him to get some sleep. He agrees.

Maybe then, he'll quit being so damned emotional.

_In his dreams, he dreams of things he has forgotten. The thrill of flying through the air on silver wings, the clash of arms in battle, the smile of a newborn Dratini…_

_ He forgets **him**_

_Was it worth it?_

_ In his dreams, he sighs, and nods._

_ It was._

_ If he doesn't love, he can't hurt. If he forgets, he can't love. If he gives up everything, he can forget. It's a fair trade. Right?_

_ But the tears prove otherwise._

End Chapter

Completed 3/6/06

Heh. Angst. Yep, Lance went the memory erasure route. Makes ya wonder what Ash did to him, ne?

Ash: I'm such a villain!

Phantomness: You're just stupid and naïve, mostly... that's where a lot of the trouble comes from. And you don't have the same uber devotion to duty that the other two guardians have, which is a pity…

Lance: And I tend to go the passive-aggressive route when dealing with situations…


	2. Chapter 2

Yes, chapter 2 has arrived!

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Pairings: Championshipping (Lance x Ash), AAMRN

Chapter 2

The next day, he returns to class, dressed impeccably as always, but to his surprise, Amy isn't alone. It seems that her father has come with her to congratulate him for taking his daughter's side in a childish dispute. He nods, shakes the black-haired man's hand, and listens with an indulgent smile as Amy brags about how cool her teacher is. It's honestly quite flattering.

But for some odd reason, he can't help but feel as if Mr. Ketchum is watching him, which is ridiculous because the man leaves right before class starts.

He is most likely being paranoid.

Lance sighed as the first period ended and the children ran around outside on the playground. He unwrapped his sandwich and ate it quickly and neatly, before turning his attention to their spelling tests. Atrocious, most of them…

Still, it was a fate he had chosen himself. He wondered if he had done some perverse act in the past and was now settling the karmic debt by teaching children.

For the second time in as many days, he felt a headache creeping on behind his eyes. Oh no, not now…

The pills were supposed to last forty-eight hours at least! He usually only had to take them once a week, and indeed, for the first few months he hadn't needed them at all, being strangely listless and tired most of the time. His father had brought him soup and sandwiches and ordered him to stay in bed and rest, and he hadn't complained.

He supposed it was just shock from losing his mother in such a terrible way.

Had he unconsciously repressed all memories of her? Did that explain why he would occasionally black out, and why he needed to take these pills to control his emotions?

It was dangerous forcing memories back into the mind, the woman had told him sympathetically when his father had brought him in. It was best to let him stick to familiar things, find stability in his tumultuous life. Then the memories would return.

The pills would help, of course. They would keep his emotional state stable to prevent unnecessary damage and further blockage of his mind's natural pathways.

Everything would be fine, soon, she had promised.

True, the job wasn't so bad, but once in a blue moon, it led to hot flashes of anger. They also seemed to become more frequent… Whenever that would happen, he'd suddenly want to cry and it would be a struggle to hold his feelings in, even with the pills.

He just wished…

He just wished that things could stay steady.

He wasn't ready for balancing yet.

The rest of class passed by without problem, and Lance once again left the room, feeling better. No doubt he was being irrational. He sighed. It ought to be about time to make another visit to the psychiatrist again. Perhaps she could figure out what was wrong with his convoluted mind.

He penciled the suggestion into his planner, and then walked out the door to the parking lot. There, he found Mr. Ketchum waiting for him.

"Was there something you wanted from me, Ketchum-san?" He asked with a polite bow.

The man reeled back as if he had been struck, and gaped at him. "You… you don't remember me?"

"Gomen nasai, Ketchum-san. Demo, my memories have been lost for many years, ever since my mother died in a horrible fire. Did I perhaps meet you while I was a trainer?"

Lance watched in surprise as the man backed away from him, looking shocked, before a sort of resignation filled his brown eyes.

"I should have expected something like that to happen. It's all right. I'm sorry for disturbing you, Wataru-san."

"It is nothing. Oh, just a word. Amy is falling behind in her basic mathematics. She may need some tutoring…"

"No problem. My wife is pretty good at math. I'm sure she'll understand the situation and get Amy up to speed."

He nodded, and watched as the man drove off.

…Wife?

Why did that send an odd flash of pain through his chest?

He was about to reach in his pocket and take another dose of the pills, but something stopped him. He remembered her words.

"Wataru-san, you must be careful not to overdose. You should not take more than four pills in a twenty-four hour period, and that is only for emergencies."

"Sumimasen, Sha-san," Lance said regretfully, "But I have no choice."

He did, actually… well, if he thought about it, he'd just taken two, and if he took two now and no more, then it would be all right, or maybe one would be enough…

He eyed the white pill for a second before he swallowed.

Calm washed over his body immediately, and he nodded. If this feeling continued, he'd have to start taking three each day, not two…

He'd have to tell Sha-san…

Ash drove home silently, paying only half an ear's attention to Amy's chatter in the background. He frowned. It could not be possible.

There was no way, _no way at **all**_ that this soft-spoken teacher, Wataru-san, was the same person as… _him._

Ash had never been quite sure what happened to Lance in the aftermath of the final battle. He'd been too busy not getting killed by the swarm of Deoxys, and Lance had been holding his own with the rest of the Elite against the other two pretty well. But then Agatha had collapsed from heart failure or a psychic blast, maybe a combination of both, and Lorelei had screamed and to rushed to her side, and Bruno…

Bruno hadn't stood a chance.

He remembered feeling overwhelmed, that they were all going to die, but that was when Lance revealed his trump card.

Lugia.

It was truly an epic battle, and afterwards, no remnants of the Deoxys species remained, but when he had woken from the strange state of limbo he'd been thrown into thanks to some poisonous injection midway into the battle, both Lance and Lugia had mysteriously vanished.

Lugia was presumed dead, and Lance…

He'd thought that Lance was dead as well…

"Isn't Wataru-sensei cool?"

"Yes, Amy, he is." Ash said absentmindedly. "But he also says you need to work on your math homework."

Amy scowled. "I don't like math."

"I know you don't, but if you don't pass the mathematics section of the Trainer test, you can't go on your journey."

They entered the house, and the other occupant got up from her chair with a yawn. Pregnant with their third child, she moved slowly. "What is it?"

"Nothing important, Misty, except that Amy needs help with her homework."

"All right."

End Chapter

Completed 3/6/06

Sha-san Lance's psychiatrist. Her name means 'Sunset Clouds' in Chinese. This character is a familiar one if you've read my fanfic

Gah! The plotbunny ran away from me! I didn't mean to write AAMRN! Cry Oh well…might as well play it to my advantage this time! It's working out pretty well


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Chapter 3

"I wasn't expecting you to come back for a while," Charlotte said as she looked up from her notebook. "What happened this time?"

Lance sighed. "Sha-san… for the past few days, I have felt jittery and on edge, though I know not the reason. I've had to increase my dosage to three pills, and today it was not enough. I had to take four. Yet, I still feel uneasy. They are not working for some reason. Have I built up a resistance?"

The psychiatrist-slash-fire-guardian-Moltres sighed. She should have known that even Articuno's specially created ice medicine would not last forever. They had never used it on such a long time scale before. It was a wonder the pills had lasted six years at all, almost seven.

"I'm afraid so." She said slowly. Damn it! That was the problem with suppressing a guardian's power and their memories. Lance was easily the strongest out of the three, Ash was too careless to use his power intelligently and she herself was really just a weak little bird.

All she could do was create, and she could block her created worlds from entry, and she could happily spin out her web of lies for a time and another time, but now, Ash was still clueless and Lance was no more than a distant memory, so she had to keep the balance. It just wasn't _fair _sometimes.

But on the plus side, at least it wasn't total destruction like they had feared. She was still strong enough to balance, and there was much _less_ to balance. Many of the pokemon had fled during the war, many of the people had died, and now, balancing was almost easy, with only a small number of lives to consider. Only Kanto was still remotely intact, the other lands were smoking ruins that would not bear life until the next cycle.

Lance shook his head. "What am I to do now, Sha-san?"

She hesitated, and felt Moltres stir sleepily in the back of her mind. Her three legendaries had all bonded to her, in all ways, after the disastrous battle. It was much safer as a focal point of power, and they leant her their support as she struggled to hold the world together waiting for the rightful owner to heal and the next cycle to begin.

It was worth a try.

The ice medicine only suppressed Lance's emotions, and he rarely took it. It was not supposed to block memories. Only his will had allowed him to forget, for no pokemon would dare tamper with the Chosen after the Deoxys attack. Serebii sometimes remembered her mistakes and rectified the damage she had done, but not often.

But if Lance did not remember _why_ he had wanted to forget, his will not to remember would dissolve eventually…

And now, horror of horrors, he was starting to wonder about that void in his mind, and he truly did want to know. What a mess.

Had this brief space of time, had these years healed his wounds?

She doubted it. He still cried for love lost, though he knew not the reason.

Yes, she had to help.

She had her own ways of dealing with things… and she would lend them to him.

"Here."

He looked at her in surprise as she got up and pulled something out of a drawer. "What is this?"

There were three pretty stones strung on a necklace of fine gold wire. The Flame Ruby, which was hers, for fire. The Ocean Sapphire, his… and finally, the Topaz of Earth. That belonged to Ash.

The three guardian stones would hopefully stabilize the guardian's errant power. They were actually pocket forms of the three guardian wands – the wands of fire, water/ice, and lightning…

If things got worse, she'd _have_ to use sheer power to lock his power, and she didn't think she could win.

Lance stared at the necklace dubiously, but slipped it over his neck and felt his emotions ebb to a gentle hum immediately.

"Was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about? Any reason why you suddenly had a relapse, Wataru-san?"

Lance steepled his hands and frowned. "I believe it had something to do with Ketchum-san."

"Really? Who is he?" Inwardly, she cursed. So Lance had seen Ash. Why couldn't that idiot of her younger soul brother let his lover live in peace for once?

"I don't know him well, Sha-san. His daughter is in my class."

Damn, damn, damn, count to ten, focus or else you will burst into flames like you're apt to do in frustration. Inhale; exhale, slow, lazy movements and then another question.

"Do you remember him?"

He doesn't sense any motive in her question, but he shakes his head. "No, but he seemed to know me. He thought that I should remember him."

Interesting. Hopefully. Ash could not – not yet, his power was still dormant – do anything special to affect the balance.

The precious balance that was their life and their curse and their blessing and their death all at the same time…

"What did he say of importance?"

"Nothing." Lance shook his head. "Nothing. But he said… something to the effect that he expected me to forget."

Charlotte nodded. "Perhaps you met on your journey."

"I think so, otherwise I would not have forgotten him so easily. I doubt we were friends." Suddenly, a blinding pain flashed behind his eyes and he clutched the necklace. It subsided, but he frowned.

"Doushite desu ka? What happened?" Lugia, no…

"I don't know."

"Were you thinking about anything in particular? Sometimes ordinary objects can trigger memory flashes."

"I…"

"Yes?"

Lance frowned. "For a second, I saw something… I think it was a pokemon, a red one…"

"So Ash's name makes you think of red pokémon?"

"No, not that. It was when I said 'friends'. I saw a flash of a reddish bird pokémon…"

Charlotte felt a bucket of ice settle in her stomach. "A bird pokemon… you mean, like a Fearow?"

He snapped his fingers. "Yes, that's right. I saw a Fearow."

"Anything else?" Please Lugia no…

"I think… there was a man, he seemed like… I don't know, but I got a feeling of hostility from his face, and I think I saw an R on his clothing…"

"So you ran into Team Rocket on your journey. That isn't so uncommon." She frantically penciled in notes, hoping her mask would not crack. "Where was it?"

A frown. "I remember green grass and water. A lake, I think… it was…"

There was a moment of startling clarity, and he gasped. "Lake of Rage! I met Ash at Lake of Rage!"

Charlotte forced a fake smile onto her face and took a sip of her heavily sugared latte. "So you do remember."

Lance nodded. "Yes, but… I can't remember anything else. At least it's a start, isn't it? Well, I really should get going… same time next week?"

What the heck, he'd need it. She swallowed and nodded. "Sure."

Damn.

End Chapter

Completed 3/6/06

I don't really know that much about counseling, though I am going to a psychiatrist every two weeks at least. Yes, I'm a crazy depressed author.

Charlotte tries to help Lance. She likes him not much, but she doesn't like seeing important people suffer for no reason, so after he erased his memory Lugia set her up as his psychiatrist. The problem is, Lance's memories are coming back and Charlotte isn't really good at suppressing stuff…

And the flashback in this chapter is the "Lake of Rage" episode beginning.

The character Charlotte is from my earliest championshipping series. She's the fire half of the triple guardianship mentioned in my prophecy, and she's got fire blood. She's the weakest of all three guardians and her power lies in creation, not change like Ash or destruction like Lance. She is deathly afraid of water and the dark and loves coffee. She might be Moltres's daughter, or her lover, it's not really clear, but she's Ash's soul sister.

The wands (in gem form) that Charlotte gives Lance are the three wands of the three guardians, mentioned in CCA. They can destroy demons together. Fire identifies the target, water purifies, and lightning destroys…

When Ash mentions that he thought Lance might forget, he was thinking of the stress of their war against the Deoxys, not any magical means.


	4. Chapter 4

Oops. Yawn

Stupid piles of chemistry homework!

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Chapter 4

"I should be happy." Ash thought, as he sat outside on the front porch swing, listening to the sounds of the children inside. "I'm married to a wonderful woman. I've got two adorable kids and another one on the way. I moved on. Whatever happened between Lance and me during that short period of war was just a fling anyways. It didn't mean anything. So he's moved on with his life, and I've moved on with mine. It's just been a rather nasty shock to find out he's alive."

And amnesiac…

Had the War been that hard on him?

"I have Amy," He thought fondly of his oldest daughter, "And Bob," who was three years old and a brat but really, he was happy.

This new change meant nothing.

Right?

Two weeks or so flew by normally. Much to Charlotte's relief, in her following sessions with Lance, he had been unable to bring up any other memories and had spent most of the session talking about his feelings and emotions and crying too.

It was very strange. Lance never cried, but this broken down trainer with no memory and no _power_ wasn't really Lance. She hadn't known him well in the first place.

So she just offered herb tea and a comforting person to talk to and tissues, and she waited and hoped.

When Lugia saw his son with the necklace of the elements, he had immediately used his strongest psychic blocks to cover up the blocks Lance had already put up on his memory. There was no point in repeating past heartbreaks.

He did not want his child to suffer.

However, even the best things in life rarely last, and misfortunes never come singly, so it was with horror that both parties happened to be on the scene when Lance's next memory block shattered.

He and Charlotte had decided to meet in a café on the third visit, since it was just a quick check-up. Lugia had teleported them there and Lance hadn't minded his father's presence, so Charlotte had just finished probing his mind (discreetly of course, her psychic powers weren't very good and Lugia was distracting Lance with a discussion about dragon pokemon) when Ash and Misty and their two brats plus imminent third entered the building.

As soon as Lance turned around to greet Amy, who had called him with a gleeful shout of 'Hi Wataru-sensei', he found himself staring into Ash's brown eyes.

It had taken less than a second before the teacher simply toppled out of his seat and hit the floor.

Lugia didn't wait; he scooped up his child and fled the building, not even bothering to teleport, rushing out the door like a mad pokemon (well, madman, since he was in human form, but…), but that was when Lance clutched his arm with a pained gesture and Lugia hurriedly set him down on a convenient bench.

Charlotte followed, her glasses askew as she hurriedly whipped out her pen and notepad. "What's wrong, Wataru-san?"

"I… I think I…"

Ash and his family followed, curious at the commotion, and as soon as Lance laid eyes on Misty, he gave a shrill cry and clutched his necklace like a lifeline, fingers already flickering through half-completed sets of magic seals, which, Charlotte and Lugia noticed with growing unease, were all perfectly formed up to the point where he forgot the rest of the sequence.

This was not good.

Lance reached behind him, almost as if… oh no, he kept some of his dragon blades hidden in his cloak, since his cloak could be his wings in disguise, and it was instinct to… instinct to…

"Breathe!" Charlotte instructed, before her charge hyperventilated and died. That would be a _horrible_ way for a guardian to go out. She produced a paper bag from her tote bag and held it over Lance's mouth as he slowly calmed down.

The whole scenario had taken less than a few seconds.

Even if the mind forgets, the body does remember things. Emotional memory, implicit memory, they cannot be so easily wiped away, though the explicit memory can be hampered and hidden…

This was _not_ good.

Lugia used this time to shoo the crowd away. "I'm sorry, but my son doesn't do well with crowds." Was a good excuse, and factual too.

The crowd dispersed with mutters, and Misty decided that she didn't want to stay around this crazy man, and so she and Ash left.

"What did you remember?" Charlotte queried, when her charge calmed.

"I remember… fighting," Lance said slowly. "But not with pokemon. I had… I don't know, weapons or something, and I was fighting… a sword maybe? Did I ever take fencing lessons? My balance seemed off."

"You were fighting?" Lugia whispered.

"That woman, only she was younger and not pregnant…She looked like a kid…"

"And?"

"And then she changed," Lance whispered. "She wasn't human anymore. She was a bunch of black… snaky things, crawling out towards me! And then she… she broke something and I couldn't see what it was but then I felt this horrible pain in my back and I think… I think I fainted."

Two eyes shared an unspoken thought.

He doesn't know that he _died_.

Under normal conditions, the Dragon child remembers _everything_.

Charlotte thought she knew what he was talking about. It was a lifetime many lifetimes ago, when she and Lance and Ash had fought Misty – who had turned into Missingno, and it was in that battle that Lance – still a girl, still ice guardian – had lost her wings. Shattered them.

That was why her new wings were of dragon's blood and dragon's tears, blood and bone, magically forged into silversteel… to fit the Dragon Master.

This is dire. If he starts remembering different lives…! What will that do to his sanity? He's fragile enough as it is! 

What can I do, Lugia-san? 

I only wish I knew… for now, I want you to suppress his power. 

But I'm too weak… 

Not yet you aren't. His power … Curses! You're right. His power barriers break before his memories do. You must hurry. Otherwise, everything will be for naught. 

I understand. 

Her hands flew through the sealing spells, though she rarely used them, and she gave Lance a silent apology before she visualized the last sequence for the formation of the Onyx Seal and slapped him on the back, enough for the magic to transfer.

It had held Bob for centuries. Hopefully, it could hold one of the Chosen for a little while… just a little while…

Please. Don't. Remember.

End Chapter

Completed 3/6/06

Don't die bunny! I need you!

Our heroes really are trying to do the best for Lance. If he wants to forget he was in love with Ash, we'll damn well let him forget! But his self without memories is like a completely different person, which makes things difficult…

If you don't like Charlotte, I couldn't think of anyone else to use. If you don't like the fic, quit reading!

The flashback in this chapter is from my fic, "Shelter in the Storm"

The Onyx Seal was used in CCA to seal a villain named Bob. He was basically stuck in a region outside of normal time for hundreds and thousands of years. He broke free several times in various fics, but always got sealed again, and finally he and the other guardians made peace in a fic.


	5. Chapter 5

At least the bunny is alive!

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Chapter 5

_In his dreams, he sees that he gave up everything – body, spirit, heart, and mind, to the person he loved._

_He killed pokemon for him._

_He destroyed worlds for him._

_He killed to protect him._

_He died to save him._

_And he sees, in the last frame, the one who he has given everything to, in the arms of the one who is an enemy, in the arms of one who has betrayed the world, in the arms of one who is not human or pokemon but DEMON…_

_And he screams._

_And he wakes up._

The last thing he remembers is passing out. He supposes that it was all those horrible memories, and they _were_ horrible, no wonder he blocked them! Maybe it's safer not to remember.

He looks at the necklace and feels calm again. Whatever strange Eastern medicine his counselor is using, it's working pretty well. Now if only…

He remembers her words from years ago, and more recently, telling him to avoid things that bring back the bad memories, because if he doesn't want to remember, he shouldn't try!

But… but surely, there are some good memories in his head too, right?

And before he knows it, he's slipped into a trance.

When he pulls out of that memory, he's smiling. It was a perfectly normal one, just himself splashing in the water with a Magikarp and Dratini. He must have been quite young, but he was at a beach…

That wasn't so bad.

He writes it down, in the little black notebook his father went out and bought for him, not two days ago, to write down his memories in.

The other two were unpleasant, but this one isn't so bad.

He tries again, but it's like he hit a wall, and he feels frustrated, but nothing can be rushed, and he's lived seven years of his life just fine without that interference, so he goes downstairs and makes himself breakfast.

His father is already off to work, and he has class… its lucky yesterday was a Saturday, or else he would be very late for school right now. He must have slept through both of his alarm clocks.

He decides to go on a walk.

The walk helps, and it's in the middle of the road, unfortunately, when the next blast of memory hits him. He comes to when he realizes that a Nurse Joy is shaking him and that he must have passed out near the Pokemon Center.

He gives her Sha-san's number and she advises him to stay home if his condition is that bad, but he has class to teach.

That's when he remembers what happened in the memory and he shudders.

He remembers battling – over a lava pit, can you imagine that, on the back of … something glowing white, and falling, falling into that horrible fiery hell…

And he remembers a girl with a big hat and short blonde hair in a ponytail, laughing, laughing, and her laughter echoes on and on…!  
He almost cries with relief when he realizes that he is in one piece and there are no scars on his pale skin. But even so, when he gets back home, he collapses into bed and cries, until his tears have dried up, because there's pressure building up in his chest and he has no other way to release it.

If he were Lance, he would have laughed and killed people until the rage burned out and his smile was as mad as the moonlight above, as brilliantly bright as the Dragon Blades in his hand.

But he's not Lance anymore. He killed Lance, and he knew it, when he made his decision to forget.

Now, he's just Wataru-san: a perfectly normal grade school teacher who lives a perfectly normal life.

Catelyn wonders, as she watches from the Dream Realm, with Crystal, if Lance really _is_ happier as Wataru-san.

They doubt it.

After all, Lance would _never_ cry himself to sleep.

She is sketching. She knows that she should be focused on her bloody patients, but her job is just a cover anyways, and the few _other _patients that she takes in besides Lance are just decoys, illusions, puppets, call them what you will. She is drawing, and underneath her pen a picture of a dying dragon blooms.

She draws the bloody sword in the hands of a boy with spiky hair and a devil may care smile, but when she's finished, she can't tell whether she drew Ash or Lance holding the sword.

Maybe it really doesn't matter.

But just in case, she hides it beneath a pile of tax reports and sets her coffee mug on top so he can't see it on his next visit.

It wouldn't do to trip up and ruin all their efforts.

He is flying. His child always loved to fly when he was distressed, and what works for the son works for the Father too.

Lugia sighs. It's been so long since he was able to fly. He's had to act like a perfectly normal human, as normal as a psychic is, really, and all Lance knows is that he can teleport. He thinks that he's done a pretty good job.

But hiding as a human is so difficult. He sighs as he lands at home, their _real_ home, the crystal caverns in Whirl Islands, not that small house he now has to share, with prying neighbors on all sides and the stench of pollution in the air.

One part of him is _sick_, utterly disgusted that his own Child would sink to such lows. Living with _humans_, and not even gifted ones, and _teaching_ them.

Another part of him is sad, sorrowful, wishing that Lance hadn't resorted to such dire measures.

Part of him pities the child, because though it was Lance's choice to fall in love, his choice has been set in stone every since, with Serebii's manipulation, and surely, he knows that even if Lance weren't 'in love' with Ash, he'd wind up that way sooner or later, thanks to the blood-binding performed so many years ago, so many centuries ago, that never fades and never weakens.

Part of him is blazing anger towards Ash. How dare he hurt his child so! How dare he, after all that Lance has done over the years! How dare he forget and repeat his mistakes! How dare he!

But the final part of him just feels old, and wishes the life were done and over with so they could start with a blank page.

The fire guardian wasn't such a bad person after all.

The next day, Wataru-sensei doesn't go to class.

That's because he never wakes up.

End Chapter

Completed 3/6/06

YAWN

The first flashback is just Chibi! Lance in Pokemon Special/Adventures, the second one is one of those Yellow-villain Pokemon special-verse fics I'm wont to write, can't quite remember which one at this time of night…

Catelyn and Crystal are different forms of Lance. Catelyn is the Ice Guardian, the first of Lance's forms, and she's a genki little chibi girl with ice powers. Crystal is the Master of Dark Illusions, and she's basically an insane version of Lance who only deals destruction and wears black and red armor. They're both female.


	6. Chapter 6

Keep the juice flowing!

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Warning: You had better be aware of Phantomness's writing trends to understand quite a bit of this fic. I'll post notes in the end of each chapter, but it'd still help…

Chapter 6

"Oh? Your teacher is sick?"

"Wataru-sensei hasn't been at school for a week." Amy informs her father as she grabs a cookie from the plate. "Our substitute is Kosaka-sensei, and she is mean!"

He nods absentmindedly as he turns a page in the newspaper. Nothing interesting really strikes his eye, until he sees the date.

And he reads it again.

And he allows it to click in his mind.

And he remembers…

_He woke up to find Misty shivering against his side, their clothing strewn around them and a feeling of satisfaction rising in his body. He hurriedly dresses, and she follows, and they rush out of their temporary shelter for the night, expecting to see more Deoxys descending from the sky._

_ But there is nothing._

_ The silence is unnatural after all these months of war, and he can't understand why it's silent, until he sees Lorelei lying on the ground._

_ She's not dead yet, though she won't last long. She's been bleeding all night._

_ "What happened?" He asks, and she weakly mumbles out a reply that is almost too faint to catch. But he hears her, and he gasps._

_ Lance summoned Lugia and won the battle._

_ So that was what happened after he passed out._

_ But now, both of them are gone._

_ And despite whatever happened with Misty last night, he feels as if his heart has been torn apart._

_ And he cries._

_ He cries for the world. They've lost so much, even though they've won._

_ But there is no one to dry his tears, except Misty._

_ And she's there, and so close, and a friend, that for a moment, he can't quite comprehend her, but then he looks up._

_ And he realizes that he's fallen in love again._

_ And it's all right, because she won't die._

"He won't wake up."

Charlotte sighs as she looks at the prone form of the Ice Guardian. "I'm going to bet you that Catelyn and Crystal were the ones who did this."

Lugia grieves, and shakes his head. "I don't understand. They should allow him to live his choice. He's the one in control, isn't he?"

"Was," Charlotte reminds him dryly. "But he's not Lance anymore."

They look at the slow rise and fall of the man's chest, sleeping there so peacefully under the blue coverlet.

They sigh.

And then they go make more coffee and continue the vigil.

_He is confused, because he wakes up in a grassland full of pokemon, and there's a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes who looks too familiar, and then another girl in black armor who he feels as if she should know._

_ She frightens him._

_ They try to talk to him, but he doesn't like this dream, so he doesn't hear a word they say._

_ He just wants to go home._

She is silent, and though fire is not a sneaky element, she is watching.

She sees him leave.

The gates are opening.

She returns to her body and informs his Father, and they prepare for the worst.

It never comes.

He doesn't understand why he slept for a week. It isn't possible. But Sha-san just shakes her head and his Father brings him chicken noodle soup and okay, maybe once in a while it's nice to be treated like an invalid, and they don't ask any questions.

He falls asleep again, and this time, there are no dreams.

All he sees is a black void filled with stars.

For some reason, it's a lot more comforting than a grassland full of pokemon.

He doesn't know why.

The visitor is unexpected, and both of them want to kill him, but that might summon Destiny and _then_ they'd be screwed.

In any case, Ash wants to see a sick friend and Charlotte and Lugia just sigh.

It should be okay.

After all, the Onyx Seal is still holding.

"Hi."

Lance looks up from his soup, and suddenly, he feels… strange again. But this time, the necklace isn't helping. It's making the pain worse.

A million lifetimes flash before his eyes and he screams.

And the seal cracks.

One thing Charlotte and Lugia forgot.

When the Onyx Seal was broken, it took _two_ guardians to repair it. Herself and Ash. And to seal Bob, they needed Lance's power, even from a dimension away.

And now, Lance has all three wands of power around his neck, even in mini form.

That's all the warning they get before everything literally explodes.

And when the dust clears, it's not Wataru-san looking out at them.

It's Lance.

End Chapter

Completed 3/6/06

Destiny is the first of Ash's guardian forms. He's quite insane but also quite in love with Lance. He has talons instead of legs, tufts of white feathers on his 'thighs', a three-feathered tail, one pair of gold wings and another pair that varies in color from white (human and pokemon coexistence) to black (must annihilate human race). He's pretty uncontrollable, unlike Ash's other two forms.

The Onyx Seal was used to seal the dark apprentice, named Bob, in the CCA series. This took place during the Card Captor Ashura Arc notably named, CCA: Dark Apprentice.

Each Guardian has three forms, plus a base. Charlotte's are Messenger (Wind), Fire Guardian, and Master of Revealing Light. Lance's are Ice Guardian, Dragon Master, and Master of Dark Illusions. Ash is Destiny, Hope, and Master of Hidden Shadows, with Thunder Guardian in there somewhere. But none of these are perfectly set and they often have several minor forms as well.

Charlotte's forms are _always_ female and Ash's are _usually_ male, with Ashline as an exception. Lance is the most flexible and can switch male to female with no problem usually. In some lives she's a girl, in other's he's a boy, and sometimes it's a life where s/he can switch back and fourth. This is for clarification of course.

Heh! Cliffhanger! So, will true love prevail? Stay tuned!


	7. Chapter 7

Last chapter? Maybe

Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Shogakukan Comics. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Thank you. Phantomness bows

Notes: for telepathy, for thoughts, _italics_ if a pokemon talks

Chapter 7

Ash wasn't sure what he expected. He'd come hoping to well, just to see if Lance was all right, and then things went all strange with glowing lights and the next thing he sees, everything has shifted, and unless Lance was a damned good actor, Wataru-sensei, the nice, polite teacher that Amy always talks about, is gone.

No, it's Lance and he _knows_ it is, though how he got his memories back Ash has no clue in Aruba. But who cares?

"Lance."

He wasn't sure what he expected to happen, maybe a friendly wave, maybe a kiss, but what he didn't expect was for Lance to look angry, almost _evil_, like he was back in the war again, and for those blazing golden orbs to fix on his in a way that made his skin crawl.

"Ketchum-san," That voice purrs, as Lance rises out of his bed and holy shit his clothes are _melting_, changing into something different, like _armor_, and he's growing _wings_ out of his back, and the lady and Lance's father have just gotten out of the way and are sure _not_ interfering, "Do you _know_ what you have just done?"

"You got your memories back?" He squeaks out.

"Wrong." And before he knows what's happening, he's pinned up against the wall, and he feels Lance's lips on his and it's like the first time they kissed, almost an accident, in Houen when they were running high on adrenaline but the world was saved again… and he wants more but that's when Lance pulls away and turns to the weird black-haired woman with the spectacles.

"Sha-san."

She gives a mockingly ironical salute, and snaps her fingers, and there's a whooshing sound as something black and wrinkly falls _off_ of Lance's body in pieces but that's impossible!

"Should have remembered, but I didn't have that memory. Only you do." She says, and he laughs.

"You made a damn good psychiatrist, Charlotte. You should go into that field sometime when you're not too busy."

She laughs, and then he turns to his father.

Ash watches as Lance gives a sad little smile and his lips aren't moving, but his father suddenly nods and instead of a tall man with white hair and blue eyes the wall explodes outwards and that's _Lugia_, the legendary pokemon, just floating there!

Ash doesn't know if he should laugh of cry if he's fallen into some odd alternate reality or not, but…

But it makes _sense_.

Both Lance and Lugia vanished.

If Lugia is Lance's father… that explains his dragon affinity.

But why did Lance disappear, and why did he forget?

He glares at the lady, and to his surprise she glares right back. Puts her hand on her hip and then pulls a flaming sword with a bronze hilt out of midair and motions him away from Lance.

Does she think he's going to _hurt_ Lance?

Apparently she does, because Lugia gives a deep growl and it looks like he's preparing a Hyper Beam.

What is going on here?

And Lance just sighs, and taps him on the nose, and says it's better if he just forgets the whole ordeal, and he sees some kind of weird blue energy gathering around Lance's hands and he doesn't know what to do but he doesn't want to forget...!

And time seems to freeze.

"You don't want to forget?" Lance demands, and his face is an angry mask of rage and pain. "After what you put me through, you think you can make demands? You think you can go back to being all happy now that I'm back to normal? What, are you going to keep me as a lover on the side or something? You're bloody married to MISTY for Lugia's sake!"

Lugia (who is still in the room) coughs, but doesn't comment.

Ash feels that that Hyper Beam is still charging which is a very bad thing.

"I can do it," Charlotte offers, and before he can react, she's behind him and he can feel the heat from her sword on his neck, but Lance shakes his head.

"Give me the Scales."

She pulls out a pair of pretty scales – black and gold – and hands them to Lance, and he looks at them, watching a blue ball and a red ball and a yellow ball, each bobbing on a separate plate, and then it tips.

And he smiles.

"You lose."

That's all Ash really understands, because then the three people in the room nod to each other and they _disappear_, and all he's left with is a feeling of agony.

And he knows, for certain, that this time, he won't see Lance.

Ever. Again.

And he screams and he cries, but no one is listening, and so he walks home.

And the next morning, when he wakes up, he doesn't remember anything. He eats breakfast and goes off to work, but…

Something about Amy having a teacher named Mogi-sensei is just. Not. Right.

And in the Dream Realm, two guardians sit on the grass, and try to forget. The pills are gone. The wards are gone. The seals are gone.

Ash is gone.

Charlotte turns to Lance, and offers him a sympathetic smile.

He sighs, and wishes that this didn't have to happen.

Lugia sleeps nearby, keeping watch over his precious child.

And somewhere on earth, a man wakes up crying, but doesn't know why.

Don't look at the stars in the sky. Please.

END FIC

Completed 3/6/06

Okay! A little bit of explanation on the star stuff! Ash's final guardian form, the Master of Hidden Shadows, has eyes that look like miniature galaxies. They're black with swirling stars. That's what Lance is thinking of.

And yay! An ocean of angst! Like? Hate? Tell me! No happy ending this time!

See, I could have made Ash and Lance run away together, but then I'd be promoting adultery, and I ain't that type of authoress, most of the time. Night! Looks at watch Holy…! I have class in 2 hours. Better get some sleep!


End file.
